Curt Steinmetz - Zen Master Chong Sae Do
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When I first met my teacher, Zen Master Dae Gak, I asked him how I should practice. He looked right into my eyes and said, without hesitation, “Your practice is the question, ‘Who am I?’” A while later I asked my teacher, “how should I practice ‘Who am I?’ He said that if I practice correctly, then if someone else were to sneak into my mediation room to see what I was doing, they would see no one there.
Later he told me something about waterfalls. “It’s like a waterfall,” or maybe “It’s like trying to drink from a waterfall,” or something like that. Then a little later he told me, “It’s like a playing ball on rapid water.” Or something like that. To be honest, I had little, if any, response to these teachings. I really did not know what he was talking about. Months passed. I attended many retreats with my teacher. I always cherished the time I spent at his beautiful retreat center, Furnace Mountain Zen Center. After each retreat I felt a deep sense of peace combined with great inspiration. |
But still, every time I had a one-on-one talk with my teacher, I always felt awkward, unsure, unsettled, incompetent. Finally, after about two years of this, Zen Master Dae Gak said to me: “You know, you really should be getting this by now.” This made me mad. Without thinking I snapped, “Getting what?” Then we just looked at each other and smiled.
All of that took place over a quarter of a century ago. Still I love to see my teacher and to sit at Furnace Mountain.
Still I feel awkward and incompetent. Still I practice “Who am I?”. Still I wonder “getting what?”
All of that took place over a quarter of a century ago. Still I love to see my teacher and to sit at Furnace Mountain.
Still I feel awkward and incompetent. Still I practice “Who am I?”. Still I wonder “getting what?”
Curt Steinmetz received dharma transmission as a Zen Master in 2020 and is the guiding teacher at Dae Do Sah Zen Group, Rockville MD